


my darling, george (please read tags and notes!)

by saddnap



Series: one shots based on spoken poetry [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Again, Angst, Fluff, I Love You All, Just For Practice, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, One Shot, Poems, based on spoken poetry, i will have more info in the notes, if that is not something you are comfortable with please don't read!, please read tags and notes in the beginning, soft, super simple, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28801965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saddnap/pseuds/saddnap
Summary: based off the spoken word "my darling sarah" by shane koyczan.clay meets george in a bar and their relationship flourishes.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: one shots based on spoken poetry [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113008
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	my darling, george (please read tags and notes!)

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ!! there is a major character death in this! i have no intention of making ANYONE uncomfortable, so if this could possible trigger you in any way, please don't read it! i will have a little note before it happens just in case some want to read up until that part! this is entirely fiction and is just for writing practice! if anyone involved say that are uncomfortable with things like this being written, i will happily take it down. lowercase is intended, italics indicates the poem. if a lot of people don't like this, i will happily delete it :)
> 
> if you don't want to read the death part, stop when it says this "~Major Character Death after this point! If you are not comfortable, please stop reading here! <3~"
> 
> AGAIN!! PLEASE DON'T READ (OR STOP READING AT THE WARNING) IF MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH EITHER TRIGGERS YOU OR MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE IN ANY WAY! if anyone needs to talk about anything, please message me! thank you in advance!

_the failing use of my right hand_

_isn't actually the failing use of my right hand_

_it's just another way to tell the time_

_and i'm ticking_

_so i've been picking myself up at bars_

_with a bottle in each hand_

clay sat on the barstool at the popular bar in town, downing his one of two beers. his eyes searched the almost empty room, his eyes settling back down on his bottle. there was a group of girls in the corner who were eyeing him, but he wasn't paying any attention to them. he drinks his other beer rather quickly, not caring about how bad it was for him.

_but i never give myself any play_

_i only make plans with myself for the day after next_

_but by the time the sun swings back around into position_

_i forget the context of why i asked myself out_

_in the first place_

_did i think i was going to score?_

_i let a stranger pour me one more_

the bartender comes over and sets another beer in front of clay, popping the top off. he slides it towards him and raises an eyebrow.

_he says "my name is george"_

_doesn't take much more than that_

_to start a relationship_

he looked up at the young man, giving him an odd look, "my name is george." his voice was small, but he could still hear him. his ears perked at his name. he repeated his name, his name sliding off his tongue, as smooth as butter. george gave him a gentle smile, the pain visible in his eyes.

_my darling, george_

_cleans rooms for a living_

_giving his youth and beauty_

_to dirt and dust_

a conversation is struck, george leaning his forearms on the countertop. clay smiled at him and leaned forward, sipping his third beer.

"are you going to tell me your name?" he asked, a hint of sarcasm shining through. clay chuckled, not being able to help himself. "my name is clay." george nodded and held his hand out, clay instantly taking. they shook hands, knowing that this wasn't going to be the only time they talked.

they spoke for a while, their voices hushed despite the low amount of beings in the bar. clay told him that he was a software developer and he often coded video games, or he did at least. he had a bad accident, and he ended up losing movement in his right hand. the failing use of his right hand.

george told him that he works in the bar, as well as cleans hotel rooms across the street. he needed the money so he took on two jobs.

clay told him about his poems, how he's taken it up as a side hobby while he worked in his office.

_he understands more than most_

_that family must be the foot you put forward first_

_you must weather the worst together_

_but having never met his family_

_he places love above all else_

george talked about his family, how he was adopted when he was younger. by the davids family. george davids. stunning. because of him never meeting his biological family, he held love above everything else, never wanting to put a frown on someone's face.

_then protests that i use the word love_

_too freely in poems_

_and i should really just say what i mean_

_and i suppose what i mean most is that_

_i'm trying_

their relationship grew, the two of them slowly falling in love with each other. george would often reread clay’s poetry to give him tips and critiques, which he asked for. he would often tell him that he used "love" too much, too freely. meaning he used it often as if it were the word "the”. he often tells him to just write, write what he's feeling, what he really, truly means. and he's trying.

_he's been buying me time_

_on a maxed out credit card_

_arms scarred from selling his own blood_

_to pay down the debt_

there were many hardships in their relationship. despite george’s two jobs and clay’s office job, they weren't making that much money, barely enough to afford the house they lived in. george would sell his prized possessions in order to fully pay their rent and pay for the essentials.

_tells me he doesn't mind going broke_

_just so long as i can give him a little sweat_

_he says try_

_so i do my best impression_

_of a pen_

despite the financial problems, he doesn't mind it. as long as him and clay are together, that's all he cares about.

_and when every problem looks like a page_

_i commit ink to paper_

_the worth of the words that come out_

_determines my wage_

clay starts writing, writing and booking gigs at poetry slams to earn extra money. the more words he writes, the more money he earns.

_i've been making enough_

_to pay him the compliment_

_of not quitting.._

_of not sitting_

_when standing is required_

he starts to make more money and he promises george that he would never give up. clay has changed a lot since he met him, in the beginning. all he wanted to do was give up, now he couldn't stand the idea because he knew it would hurt his love.

_he only asks that i put the effort in_

_and in return he's willing_

_to pin a paper heart to his chest_

_then do his best impression_

_of a target_

george tells them that it's a partner effort. he needs to put in as much effort as he does. if he does, he's willing to do more for their relationship and their future.

_he tells me that effort_

_is the siamese twin of success_

_so when everyone else looks like a wrong answer_

_he says he'll settle for being my best guess_

clay is all george has. he's his world. no matter if he messes up or does something bad, he will always forgive him. clay was like looking at a test, looking at the unknown answers and he was his best guess. and he always got the question correct.

_so we lie in bed like a mess_

_that someone's been meaning to clean_

_for the large part_

_of a long while_

their nights in bed are their favorite times. being able to talk about their days calmly, nothing interrupting them, their legs tangled together, their words mixing with one another's.

_we lie there like a pile of dirty laundry_

_and how we'll ever come clean_

_is beyond me_

_so we don't_

_he says_

_it's supposed to be dirty_

_and if by the end you haven't hurt me_

_then you didn't try_

they talk about their future, how scared clay is. growing up, he's never been good with relationships. clay’s biggest fear was hurting george. clay looked at him, admiring his beauty. 

"baby, this is how relationships work. we're going to hurt each other, but we're going to get through it. because we're meant to be. and it will only make us stronger."

_so i do my best impression_

_of a surgeon_

_cutting purple hearts out of my own_

_use my veins like thread_

_then have hurt sewn to our skin like medals_

_because when the bleeding stops_

_and that dust settles_

_all we have are our wounds_

_to wear like decorations_

_upon our chest_

clay puts george before himself, risking his own mental health and physical health to make sure he has everything he could possibly want.

_george does his best impression of a war_

_tells me not to count my pride among casualties_

_because maybe faith means never keeping score_

clay’s work in video games starts to reach the internet, more people recognizing him, his follower count increasing. "don't count your pride among casualties, love." don't hurts others to help his career. clay never forgot those words.

_he says there's more to effort than just switching gears_

_and in terms of what one should give in life_

_sweat holds more value than tears_

_you have to try_

he held his hand, his eyes sparkling as he looked up at him. "there's more effort than just switching gears clay. sweat holds more value than tears." clay smiles down at him, leaning forward, capturing george’s lips in his own. he pulled away quickly, their foreheads resting on one another's.

_and even though_

_the failing use of my right hand_

_means i'll never land a knockout punch_

_in the first round_

there are some things clay will never be able to do, and he thought about it often. having been right hand dominant growing up, he had to learn to use his left hand. but, what if something came up and he couldn't defend his love?

_life is composed of sound and fury_

_whatever noise is left in me_

_will be twice as loud when i try_

life is hard. so hard, and the couple knows this. they know that it's not always going to be easy. but they take that realization and they run with it, making the most of their situation.

_so i plug myself into the idea of going the distance_

_and i amplify_

clay uses the realization and paints images with it. his writing reflecting how he feels about his boyfriend.

_my darling, george_

_has a throat like a vase_

_he sings his words into bloom_

_has voice like perfume_

george is addictive to clay, him always wanting to be around george. his voice can make flowers bloom in the middle of winter, his voice as comforting as the smell of a subtle vanilla perfume.

_it's been sticking to my clothes_

_so everyone knows where I've been sleeping_

_he's been keeping me so close_

_you could use my body for evidence_

they spend all of their living time together, george’s scent always on him, his persona following him around. but he didn't mind it. he liked the feeling of george being with him constantly. he would never get tired of it.

_pull his fingerprints as proof_

_that he's been on top so often_

_he's starting to look like my roof_

_but a real sexy roof_

_and he doesn't leak_

george would often straddle clay’s waist while they are laying in bed. nothing sexual in mind, he just liked to admire him, he studies his features as he tells him about his busy day.

_unless you count the crying_

_he does that sometimes_

_worries that he's just a back up plan_

george lacks confident in himself. he often tells clay that there are much better guys out there, people that could give him more. "i don't understand why you're still with me. you could have a much better life if you found someone else." clay would always frown and hold george’s face in his palm, "i don't want anyone else. i want you. and only you."

_my darling, george._

_i've lived long enough to learn_

_too many choices can destroy a man_

clay has made some bad decisions in his life, and he will continue to regret them for the rest of his life.

_i will make no exodus_

_i'll be around long enough_

_to watch uncertainty bid us farewell_

_the echo our names into the crater_

_caused by the impact_

clay promises that he will never leave george. he will make no exodus. he will be around long enough until they depart the living world together.

_of when our lack of conviction fell_

_you've never had to sell me on the idea_

_of absolute certainty in the trustworthiness of another_

no matter what happened, their trust in each other never faltered. sure, they were some moments where it almost did, but they knew that fighting wasn't worth it and losing their trust wasn't worth it either.

_the first and only time you met my mother_

_mom said_

_"i like the way he looks at you"_

_and i echoed back to her_

_that i liked it too._

clay watched as george interacted with his family for the first time. his eyes full of pride as his mom and boyfriend talked happily. george looked back at him, a wide smile adorning his face. he could see the love in his eyes as he gazed at him. george moved on to his two sisters, clay watching as his mom walked up to him. she smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "i like the way he looks at you." she said softly. clay looked down at the older woman, not being able to help the smile that crossed his face. "i like it too."

_eyes like recycle bin blue_

_george looks at broken things_

_as if he can make them new_

george always has a positive outlook on life. he always liked to stay positive, not seeing the point of living if he wasn't in a good mood.

_more than a few times i've caught him staring_

_caught him wearing_

_a smile reserved for those busy making plans._

_george believes that distance is a fundamental_

_that can be side-stepped by a piece of string_

_and two tin cans_

he looks at everyone with an idealistic look, hoping that his positivity will make someone's day. he believes that distance is something that can never affect a relationship. he believes that there's always a way to work through it.

_and i remember when my tin can rang._

_they said_

_there's no family to speak of_

_so love is next in line_

**_~Major Character Death after this point! If you are not comfortable, please stop reading here! <3~_ **

then it happened. george was out, buying groceries. clay was at home, cleaning out their fridge for the new food. he had music playing softly, but it was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. his head snapped up at the sound, quickly getting up and walking to the device. the phone number is unknown. he furrowed his eyebrows, answering the call. he brings the phone to his ear, "hello?"

"is this the partner of george davids?" clay's face fell. he set his hand on the countertop, "yes, this is he.”

"okay, he has no family, so love is next in line. your boyfriend was shot at the local grocery store. someone robbed the store and george jumped in front of the bullet that was heading for a ten-year-old kid."

_and there's not a lot of time but_

_he's asking for his boyfriend_

"we did surgery, but we couldn’t fix the injuries, he's asking for you." clay hung up and grabbed his keys, rushing out of their shared house. he ran down the street and hailed a cab, trying to move quickly.

_in the cab to the hospital i feel my heart bend_

_as if bracing for impact_

_so i do my best impression of a man_

_and face fact._

_it's supposed to hurt._

he gets in the cab and tells the driver to step on it. he feels his heart bend, as if bracing for the impact that was about to come. he does his best impression of a man and faces the fact. it's supposed to hurt. he stays strong. he needs to be strong for george.

_a doctor does his best impression of the truth_

_and spares me his attempts to skirt around the issue._

_they can't stop the bleeding_

he rushes into the hospital once he arrives, running up to the front desk. "i'm here for george davids. the doctor called me and said he got shot." the woman nodded and called a man over. the doctor walked over to clay and smiled sadly, leading him down the tiled hallway. the doctor stops clay in front of a door, looking at him. "how is he?" he asked softly, his voice breaking. the doctor sighs, "we couldn't stop the bleeding." 

clay's breath hitched, he felt his heart break in his chest. "the bullet, it hit his heart. he's not going to make it. i'm so sorry. he has a couple minutes left. you should go see him" clay felt tears brimming his eyes as he walked into the hospital room. he let out a sob as he saw the love of his life laying in the bed, as pale as a piece of paper. george looked at him weakly, his blue tinted lips smiling at him, happiness still present in his eyes. 

clay swallowed and walked over to him, pulling up a seat beside him. he held george’s hand with his left one, feeling him barely have enough strength to squeeze his hand. 

"i love you." george whispered, his voice raspy and uneven. 

clay smiles, letting his tears fall freely. 

"i love you."

george looked at clay, pulling him towards him carefully. clay sighed and stood up, leaning down and kissing george’s lips gently. george kissed him back with the best of his ability. clay pulled away after a couple of seconds and kissed his nose, in between his eyes, and his forehead before sitting back down.

_and the failing use of george's heart_

_isn't actually_

_the failing use of george's heart.._

_it's just another way to tell the time._

they just stared at each other, his heart monitor slowing down. george didn't have any tears, clay knew he was okay with his fate. he had saved a child, this was just the price he had to pay. 

"don't forget about me, clay. be positive, stay happy. keep coding, keep writing. don't count your pride among casualties." 

clay smiled through his tears, choking back a sob. 

"you did good today, my love." 

george smiled softly. "thank you." he forced out. 

"i love you." george spoke one last time. 

"i love you, angel."

_my darling, george_

_i was holding your hand when you died_

_and even though the failing use of my right hand_

_prevented me from feeling you leave._

_i tried._

**Author's Note:**

> again, i love you all !!! stay healthy and drink lots of water pretty please!


End file.
